Aging gracefully

[Privatetreaty]

DISCLAMER:
Okay, all you gals that laughed at me when I posted the Macy's big sale,
I don't think you wanna be in here (I couldn't believe you guys).




Don't laugh, but . . .

I've been thinking about wrinkles lately.




They seem to be popping out of everywhere:
the face
the neck
the hands


and the numbers are growing rapidly within the past year or so.






Excuse me, one moment please - anybody under 30 reading this, please feel free to EXCUSE yourself.






As I was saying, I try to stay out of the sun as much as possible and drink a lot of water. I've never used cremes.





Then there is the BIG question . . .

when do you schedule an appointment with the Plastic Surgeon?



What do you guys think?


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[Jane Hurl]

I think you use SPF 45 regularly, wear gloves and turtlenecks and then lose the plastic surgeon's phone number. For the price you'd pay you could have a REALLY NICE Paso!

(And if you're still worried about the wrinkles, remove all the mirrors from your house. Problem solved.)

[My Pasos]

I'll have you know that I have been having wrinkles & lines since I was 23. :eek: :shock:

Oil of Olay has an eye wrinkle cream in a small packet. Since I have been using this my wrinkles(all over my face) have dimminished some. I use it all over and my eyes. It just seems to work well with no side affects.

[Privatetreaty]

Maybe I should'a posted this in the fatty farm section, huh? *sigh*


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[Edurne]

You have to love those wrinkles..... but with your genetic make-up it's hard to believe that they are as bad as you are describing. If I could, I would show a picture of a shar-pei and ask ---- "can you beat this Cousin Helen?"

[Privatetreaty]

Can someone tell me how to delete a thread, please?
shesh


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[Terri]

Kim works for a great Plastic Surgeon. Bet she can get you in.

But me, if I had the $$$ to fix the laugh lines, I would use it to buy a new saddle or maybe some fencing or change my trailer around or.... gee I can think of lots of things to do with the money.

[Pinto Paso]

well SOMEBODY better call somebody for this poor thing..
http://www.cat-domain.com/cat_cyber/wrinkled-cat.jpg


I think I need to get to know Kim better LOL

[My Pasos]

Dear Pinto

OH MY GOSH!!! Just like looking in a mirror for me!!!!

[Pinto Paso]

oh silly, you have posted a pic here before - you are NOWHERE near this poor poor kitty.

[My Pasos]

Ahh, I have darn good make up and a powerful vaccum! :shock:

Btw, what kind of kitty is that?

[Pinto Paso]

Btw, what kind of kitty is that?

An ugly one....

sorry, I'm not a cat person

[Centauress]

Yes - I started working for a terrific doctor affiliated with Mass Eye and Ear. We have a lot of women come in for what is called the "mini face lift" and "mini neck lift ". It's not as dramatic as a face lift and they use a local instead of general anesthesia. Down time is minimal. He does beautiful work - none of the women leave our office looking weird if you know what I mean. (I think a lot of people that have face lifts end up looking weird after.) It's best for women in their late forties to early fifties that are starting to see sagging.

I do agree with Jane though about the sunscreen. Use it religeously! I am neurotic about going out w/o sunscreen. It is the best thing you can do for your skin.

There are only a handful of product ingredients that will actually make a difference in your skin:
alpha hydroxy
copper
antioxidants (vitamin C ester, green tea, and the most powerful idebenone)
kinetin

Look for products that contain these ingredients...you don't have to spend a fortune. Stay away from overpriced department store brands. Whole Foods and your local drugstore carry products with the ingredients I mentioned above.

[Centauress]

Oh and by the way...that cats head is nasty. It looks like a brain! :shock:

[Jane Hurl]

Disagree. I find the cat mesmerizing. Don't know what s/he'd FEEL like though. And you'd REALLY want to keep him/her out of the sun ... or slathered in SPF 45! *grni*

[Monty]

OMG if you have that kind of money - BUY another Paso - they don't care whether you have wrinkles or not !
They love ya for you - and the treats LOL
I gave up on the creams - I would rather spend time comditioning Monty's coat than worrying about wrinkles!
Wait until you get "Granny" skin - ain't nothing that makes that go away ! ROFL

[Privatetreaty]

Thank you Cousin Kim, for being the ONLY one to take me seriously.


Also, thank you for posting the VITAL ingredients, necessary for healthy skin.
I sincerely hope that all of you guys pay attention to Cousin Kim's vital ingredient list, because the more time you spend outside, the bigger your chances of acquiring skin cancer.


I've seen friends (over 50) do what you call the "mini face lift" and "mini neck lift" (I call it "pinching"). And you're right, the full face list is a totally different animal. I come from a family that believes in "pinching" ever 10 years or so, to avoid the full face lift.


For years now, I've let myself go and I've come to the realization that people judge what they see.
If people see fat, they think "character flaw".
If people see wrinkles, they think "has been" (no longer fresh, pretty and young - who doesn't like young?).

We eat with our EYES and we judge the world in the same manner.
Say you go to Burger King: the sandwich looks squished and the bread has a gash.
You don't feel the same way about eating it do you?
Yet, all the ingredients are intact.


Never forget: Men and children can afford to be careless, but NOT women in business.


Right now I'm fat, which makes my face look like a grape.
I wanna loose weight and I know I'm gonna turn into a raisin.
Ladies, THIS IS REALITY.
And it has nothing to do with money you invest away from horses.
Because if my physical appearance hinders my business, well then there IS NO MONEY for horses.


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[Edurne]

sadly appearance also affects relationships. My excessive weight gain, caused a longtime friend to become patronizing; this and other aggressions broke the friendship. Seeing her after three years - she was still focused on that aspect of "me". I realized that appearance was a most important factor to her - and probably to others.

[Carol Nelson]

Gee...is there something wrong with me? I CHERISH my lines...my crowsfeet...my roadmaps of wrinkles and veins...they tell who I am!
I've hoed some tough rows in my life and it shows on my face. I guess I was described as attractive in my younger years, and I don't think I "scare" people now, but I am so much MORE now than I was then. I LIKE myself so much more and worry so much less about how people think of me because of my appearance. Gee...if I have to look perfect in order for them to like me...then perhaps they're not the kind of people I need around me. Comes with age I guess...many other women my age say the same.
And I HAVE NEVER appreciated my women friends so much in my life as now when I've gotten older. Gone are the petty jealousies...the worries about "if she'll take my man or not"...now it's "hey, if she wants him...she can HAVE him...!!" hahahaa.
Seriously...life is too short. Maybe that is what it is...once you pass 50, you're looking at the other side of life...and if all ya got is appearance to go on...boy, ya better get working on the other parts and quick. Because you leave this old body behind. And all the plastic surgery and lotions and creams and nips and tucks go right into the grave with it...rather meaningless then, I might think.
But Spirit lives on and there's where the nips and tucks might come in handy...work on your spirit, and then let that soul shine right through that appearance. And pretty soon, most people won't even care about what you look like! smile

[Carol Nelson]

...and you know what...I HUG so much more now than I did when I was younger!!! Ever notice that??? And it feels so durned GOOD!!!

[Pinto Paso]

I agree with cousin Helen... there are some things that are career makers and other that can be career breakers. It is also part of self esteem and how we judge and preceive others and how we feel they will judge us.

With the weight I have lost I think I look so much older now - fat looks younger. LOL

I am not old - and I dont want to look old and I am very curious about the mini lifts.. I have stayed covered or out of the sun (except for farmers tan) for most of my life - this year I am getting sun!!! but I am doing it safely... thanks to a dear friend I have also discovered that fat looks better tanned!!!

So I will take all of Kims suggestions, considered help when I can afford it but other than that - I am pretty happy being me..

[PasoJoy]

Kim I want one of those mini lifts....

Yes I've earned my sags and wrinkles but I don't LIKE them and if I look like crap I FEEL like crap...and if I look good I FEEL good...and I'd rather feel good!!!
So...give me a lift any day!!

[Jane Hurl]

There are a lot of truths in this thread, not the least of which being that we are judged by how we LOOK, as opposed to who we are. That truth is as old as the Bible, and it doesn't just apply to women.

Men (and extremely short women) are judged by their height! (Wouldn't THAT tick you off? It's a lot easier to lose weight than it is to gain height! *grin*)

Good looking people get further up the business ladder than homely people.

Slim people earn more than fat people.

And while I most heartily agree with Carol Nelson ... unfortunately, in business, men can age while women must not, beyond a certain age. (Up here it seems to be around 50.)

[Carol Nelson]

Well...I'm not saying one should just let oneself go...I do try to keep my weight in check now...moreso because of my blood pressure (I've lost twenty pounds since last December putting me at a cool 125 to 127...and b.p.'s down!)....and to keep my hair nice and professional looking...in other words, I try to make myself neat and clean and pleasing to the eye, it's just that I really have started to LIKE myself more as I've gotten older, and to be gentler with myself....when I was younger, I wouldn't have left the house without full face makeup, nails done and hair perfect (I hated it when the wind blew...). Now I rarely wear anything but lipstick simply because by the end of the day, it would end up on my shirt...and my "-do" is short and drip/dry.
People from back home tell me I sure have "changed" but they also say I am so much HAPPIER...!

....oh and I should add that I do color my hair...I am a "bottle blond" so I'm not just out here looking like Ma Kettle....hahahahaa

[Jane Hurl]

Carol, you sound just like me (other than the 127 lbs, you biotch! *grin*). Once upon a time I would have been mortified to be seen in less than full war paint. Now? Pfft! And while I'm not a bottle blonde, I do resort to colour (red) to keep the "mutant hairs" off my head!

Gotta admit, though, I've been looking at my eyes lately and thinking that they'd look a whole lot better with a nip or a tuck or a something. Then somebody told me that an "eye lift" is around $7,500. Yeah ... I'm gonna put THAT kind of money into my face. *eyes rolling*

[Edurne]

I agree with all, and what was most hurtful for me was that this was a relationship with a person who was along an adjacent buddhist path, where "judgement" is not a spiritual goal. It has changed my whole concept of being with other humans, and has supported a family style of distrust of others. I don't wish to be that way, but currently my thougnt is that I trust only my dogs and my horse with any emotional vulnerabity. Has the fact that I have lost another 5lbs enforced the validity of what I consider a "superficial point of view"? I don't know about wrinkles and pinching; and I do know that Chitta. Zuri, & Primero don't care about how I look now as compared to my "hot" youth as to I treat them. As far as the financial wherewith all as to how to care for them, or a future riding horse - that is my problem . I suppose I must deal with all potential aging symptoms, loss of hearing, loss of astute memory of details etc. This is part and parcel of aging, and I have heard little of anyone dealing with these issues.

[Carol Nelson]

(other than the 127 lbs, you biotch! *grin*).

Hey remember when I said I was a skinny scrawny old lady with the b**bs headin' south...well, there are certain drawbacks to being thin...hahahaha....

[Pinto Paso]

That's cause we keep forgetting about them!!! LOL

[SQUEAKS]

I guess that some may be correct in a poll I once saw on here stating that I was voted as an "Off the wall person" I don't care how the appearance of anyone is as long as they like themselves and are healthy and as well as treat me decent and with a certain amount of respect.

Appearance means nothing to me ..............it is what is in your heart and mind that determines your character not your looks.

If you possess the following:
Patience
Understanding
Willingness to change your habits for the better
Compassion for people and animals
Meet your problems head on
Judge people fairly
Remember who has helped you during your lifetime

(I could go on and on without ever mentioning what you look like)

I don't care if you look like frankenstein you will be welcome here if you possess the things I have mentioned. Life is too short to worry about looks and if anyone doesn't like how I look then they don't have to look at me. They have choices.

I just think that there is entirely too much empahsis put on people's appearance and not looking inside the cover of the book to see what they are really like.

JMHO

Bob :D

[Edurne]

Bob, all I can say is that financially you have been able to support "not caring about other's view of appearance". But for others of us trying to still support an active professional life - this may still be an important issue and not one that is readily talked about in an youth oriented society.

[Monty]

Point blank ------- JMHO-------- I would rather deal with a wrinkled old hag - who is super honest and straight with me, than a beautiful ,slim person that no one can trust ,or is a bird brain !
By the way Jane - ;-) I never made it to 5' tall ! And I was an elected official ,that was been described as fiesty in articles ! LOL And ,I had one Police Chief tell me, he certainly was glad I was on their side - we fought the NRA on concealed weapons ordinace and won ! LOL
Only times height was a problem was in the late 60's - rejected from joining the Air Force and Navy because they had a 5' limit! Other than that - I usually can find a way around something that is height related !
More important than looks, is how you treat people and animals in my book ! I was raised to believe beauty comes from the inside !

[Carol Nelson]

Good for you, Penny!!! You go, girl!!!

[Jane Hurl]

Hey, Penny! Not saying you CAN'T get ahead if you're short ... just saying it's more difficult (there are statistics to that effect) and you gotta be tougher ... and obviously YOU ARE. Hooray! I LOVE tough women! (Not biker chick tough ... LIFE tough.)

[Privatetreaty]

Everything in life is relative.
To a retired women, aged 60 plus, wrinkles are not as concerning, as the effects of weight gain will have on health.


Fat can be complicated.
A young woman, who looses the weight she gained during pregnancy, can not be compared to one who gradually gained the weight and enters the proverbial "vicious circle".
If fat were simply a matter of will, nobody would be fat, as appetite suppressants have been around for many, many years.


The importance people place on a professional woman's appearance is astounding.
While at Merrill Lynch, I went from 170 to 125 (I'm 5' 7").
Colleagues (women) whom I had worked with on a daily basis for 5 years, treated me as if someone died and made me queen. I couldn't believe it.
Years later (at helm of my own firm), I gained weight and the complete opposite occurs.


Cousin Jane nailed it, when she made mention of the magic number.
It is the dreaded 50, that scares most of us into thinking twice about our appearance.
And, I'm way too close for comfort, to that number now.


But, if you're not fat or wrinkled, it's very hard to imagine how this could possibly affect someone's life so profoundly.

And please, don't try telling me fat and jolly, mix.
Because I'll think you're either lying, crazy or both.
Fat doesn't make anyone happy.


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[Carol Nelson]

Yes, you are right, Helen. I have a very dear friend who weighs about 316. It breaks my heart ...she is the most loving, decent, kind-hearted person in the world, in fact, when I married in 1990, I asked her to be my maid of honor. We had the most lovely mauve-colored dress made for her, and she looked beautiful at the wedding, and six months later she herself was married in it. Yes, she found a man who was willing to accept her for the beauty that shown from within.
But she is my age, and she suffers now from her weight. Her knees are shot and somedays she is confined to a wheelchair. And although she says the doctors say her heart is excellent, still I would not be surprised to get the call that she is gone. The depression she carries day to day because of her weight is enormous, and I am powerless to help her. Only I and a few others know that she is dying inside although the facade she puts on to the world is jovial and carefree. What do I do? Most times I just let her vent and listen without saying anything. I try to let her know that I still love her even despite her size and my friendship over the years has proven that. But still...I feel so inept in making her feel better about herself.

[Carol D.]

If fat were simply a matter of will, nobody would be fat, as appetite suppressants have been around for many, many years.

The importance people place on a professional woman's appearance is astounding. While at Merrill Lynch, I went from 170 to 125 (I'm 5' 7").
Colleagues (women) whom I had worked with on a daily basis for 5 years, treated me as if someone died and made me queen. I couldn't believe it.
Years later (at helm of my own firm), I gained weight and the complete opposite occurs.


As a psychotherapist I didn't run into much fat prejudice but that's a field where who you are on the inside is definitely what counts. I can see if you are in a primarily male dominated business world, appearances are very important. Unfortunately, so much of our culture is based on looks, especially for women.

If I had extra $ I'd consider trying that new ultrasound-like technology- forget the exact name, but instead of liposuction, they use this machine on you to reduce fat but it's not invasive.

One thing I DIDN'T like was botox, though I had it for migraines and I think the doc didn't really know what she was doing. My skin above the eyes has never quite looked or felt the same where she injected. Maybe if it had been done for cosmetic reasons it would have turned out better.

Did anyone else see that Nova special on epigentics last week? They were experimenting with rat's feed and weight then tracking the changes in the genetic 'tags' which attach to chromosomes and turn them on or off. They found the rats got very fat when certain genes got turned off and that alteration to the genes from diet and environmental toxins can be passed to later generations. The rats where those genes were turned on remained normal weight and produced normal weight off spring. Pretty interesting.

[Pasomom]

Hum, that is interesting CarolD Thanks for sharing....if you have any more information on that non invasive Ultrasound, I would love to hear about it!

[SQUEAKS]

Edurne

I fail to see where any financial support I can provide for whatever project has any relationship to what people look like on the outside. Not being rude just have no idea what you are talking about.

From what I have read in many of the posts is that just about all agree with me that it is not your appearance that makes the difference, but what you are like towards others and how you live life. I have always tried to go by the old saying treat others as you would have them treat you. That has absolutely nothing to do with outward appearances.

If someone chooses to be my friend because I may be good looking (which I am not) then it is they who have lost and not me. It's plain and simple when you see me "what you see is what you get", but if by chance you choose to look a bit further you will find a very different person that you just might consider calling a friend..

JMHO

Bob :D

[Carol D.]

Hum, that is interesting CarolD Thanks for sharing....if you have any more information on that non invasive Ultrasound, I would love to hear about it!
Here's a link to a video about it.
http://www.videovat.com/videos/1525/loose-weight-ultrasound.aspx
Seems it's not really meant for heavy weight loss but to spot reduce certain areas.

[Monty]

ROFL - Jane, I was never "Biker" tough type - but, beauty loses to brains 99 out of 100 times ! And street smarts are the best kind !
My Dad taught told me ,and we are talking back in the 60's - if I wanted to "play" with the "boy's"---------- I had to be as good as them ,or better !
I had VERY progressive parents - LOL
And ,I found - doing my home work before a battle or issue or sales - paid off big time !
And that was in the days before puters , where everything is out there to find !
I had to use the phone,talk to people, and think of who to call and what to ask .
Yup - I am 60, and earned every gray hair and wrinkle - and am proud of them !
I am still "young" at heart and can still do most of what I could - but let's face it -there comes a time it takes longer and and hurts worse after ;-) LOL

[Monty]

Back to the original question - IF - I had the money - I would have a tiny eye lift ,because the the skin between the brow and eyes have drooped - and that would be for comfort more than anything else .

[Edurne]

Bob, I was agreeing with you - about inner quality being more important than external appearance. What I was trying to say, is that for anyone who is over 50, appearance may be a factor on whether they get employment or not.