NPR...question about cremains/ashes of loved ones

[Terry Wallace]

This may be a rather macabre question to some, but I assure you, for me it is quite sincere...and I know nothing of this subject...

My dear grandmother died a week ago today...she was the most wonderful person I ever knew...we got along great, she partly raised me, she gave me 100% unconditional love.... I admire(d) her more than I can convey to you all in words.

My uncle Bill is sending out 20% of the cremains to her five siblings...my mother is one of those siblings, but is in a nursing home herself, and in failing condition. The purpose for dividing and sending the cremains, was because my grandmother so loved to travel...she loved certain states, Alaska, Florida, Michigan, New Mexico and she loved the Netherlands, where she was born. My uncle has arranged to have some sent to the Netherlands, to the town of Hondorp, where they will be spread. My other uncle (Mark) who lives in Alaska will spread them there. My uncle Tom in Michigan will do the same, Bill is taking care of the Florida spreading as he lives there, nearby where she died.

That leaves the last 20% for me...I'm from New Mexico and will take them down there and spread them.

HERE IS MY QUESTION>>>>>

I don't think I can bear to let every last bit of her go forever away from me... I am thinking of just a small container...something pendant sized, something maybe as big as a quarter.... Can anyone here tell me if such things are made? where I might get one... is it a bizzare thing to do? I will probably just keep it in my jewelry box... Thanks for your guidance.

[Lynn]

I am so sorry to hear that Terry. It seems a lot of us are losing loved ones already this year. At the mall around here there are neclaces that are little glass tubes with a cork type thing and glitter and colored sand in it. They are really tiny. About as thick as my pinky finger ( I have small hands). Would something like that work? I also think it isn't bizzare I think it is sweet. :hug

This may be a rather macabre question to some, but I assure you, for me it is quite sincere...and I know nothing of this subject...

You can have some of the ashes sealed in acrylic and made into a locket with her photo also sealed in with the ashes. I think that would be a lovely tribute to a lovely person. There are many jewelers who will do this, and enclose the acrylic in a gold case or something so you can wear it. Just look on the Internet for "acrylic jewelry."

Rita

[Barbwire]

Oh Terry, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

When Steve's brother died, his sisters had his ashes put into pendants like you described. Let me call one of them and find out where they got them from. I will get back to you.

Just made the call. They got the pendants from the funeral parlor.

[CarolU]

I would think you find a heart locket, take out the picture and cover slip, put some ashes in it, close it, and seal it shut with super-glue or clear nail polish.

I think it is a good thing that you do for your grandmother. I agree with giving ourselves back to the earth that has nourished us. My father requested, and we complied, that his ashes be scatered over Cliff Lake in Montana...it was his favorite place on this earth. It was always our childhood special place...now it is also our adult special place.

My heart goes out to you on your loss.

[Terry Wallace]

THANKS :D

That is an even BETTER idea!! Thanks for suggesting it MFH..... and Barbara, let me know what you find out...I love the idea of the photo and the ashes together..... ;-)

[Barbwire]

Just made the call. They got the pendants from the funeral parlor.

[Mrs. E.]

All right here goes. I am sure no one will agree with me but it is the way I feel. I am not good at expressing myself but will try. When I die I would like to be scattered around my property. I love it up her very much and being here is a dream come true. I do not want any part of me in plastic to be carried around or stuck in a drawer. Or in a small container or even in a locket. Scatter me around my little lot, in the pasture. Sit outside if you want to remember me or talk to me. I will be there in the clouds, in the sunset and in the cool gentle wind that surounds you. I want to be free.

[Edurne]

There are beautiful tiny jewellery boxes made out of silver and abalone shell, there are also "poison" pendants that open up to have containers. What a beautiful idea you have. No it's not macabre. Think of when Victorians made hair lockets, bracelets etc. I like the heart locket idea. But then the Heart Sutra is one of my favorites.

[Kerry W]

Mrs. E...I hope you express your wishes to your loved ones. We scattered my mother-in-law in a ravine in the NC mountains, among the Lady Slippers (her favorite), Wild Azaleas and Trillium. Dad saved some of her ashes, so that we could combine them with some of his, to scatter them together.

I'd think most funeral homes would be able to direct you Terry. You know your grandmother...and what she would feel is acceptable.

Sorry for your loss...aren't Grandma's the BEST?! :D

[NikiGA]

I've taken Mom on several road trips since she died. You should have seen the looks I got cruising north on I-81 with an urn strapped in the passenger seat! :lol:
I was an only child, so sharing was not an issue. I had her all to myself when she was living, and I still do.
I am going to scatter her ashes in Lexington. I am hoping I can talk one of the Saddlebred farms into letting me put her there.
Crystal, you up for such a trip in the next year or two?! I can just see two barefooted redheads sneaking across a white fence in Bluegrass Country...... :shock:

[PattiB]

My sister and I went to Yellowstone after her dog died and spread some of his ashes in a stream in the park. Both she and I want to be spread at the same place. I have seen the pendants that look like gems made from ashes, it wouldn't take much for it.

[motorgypsy]

Terry you can do the acrylic yourself. My dad did a lot of sea shell type things in acrylic. You could make a tiny heart shaped frame edge out of acrylic with ashes in it and the picture in the center. A jeweler could edge the frame in gold and put a ring on it to hang it from a gold chain. I think you could also embed a picture in the center in acrylic if you wish.

[Carol Nelson]

Ok...don't want to seem heartless but, Terry, that's a beautiful tribute to your grandmother, and it will keep her close to you in your mind and heart. Frankly though, I believe that once they have crossed over, they really don't care what happens to their ashes. They are in such a glorious place and so glad to be able to cast off that worn-out old vessel. So don't lose sleep wondering if what you do with their remains bothers them...what we do with their remains is for us, not for them. They are always with us in love no matter what.
Probably why I chose cremation for myself...I don't care what happens to my old body...I have asked to be spread right here on my farm...around my pond and horse pens...because this is where I spent most of my time. I could think of nothing better than to be part of the earth that nourishes the animals that live upon it.

[Ginger]

Dancing with Kings in their azurine pastures... Yep, I'm game. They say not to pet or feed the horses at the KY horse park, but every spring, I sneak around the rosebush to hug Gypsy's neck. He sees me coming and hangs his head out the window to say hi.

You know, you could probably scatter them at the Park. I'd give anything to rest between Skywatch and Perry, and then out front The Man watching over us all...

[GeorgeGuns]

Terry I am sorry for your loss, there are grandmothers and then there are grandmas, and you had the latter. Maybe after death a person/soul whatever doesn't care what happens, but maybe they do... and its a beautiful tribute to be able to carry a little bit of her with you in a lovely piece of jewelry.

[Sue]

Terry,
Loves funeral home in Limon makes the most wonderful crosses filled with some ashes. A friend of ours passed away a couple of years ago and Rayne had them made for herself and her sons.
Sue