Need your prayers, custody battle coming...

[PASOFAN]

Well I hate to boar you all w/a huge post of long details but long story to try to be short:

I raised my younger sister til she was 8yrs old, I moved out at 15yrs (now 25yrs), in 2wks she was in a foster home. Our mother (alcoholic I havent spoken to in 6rys now) had been driving drunk and getting sick on the two kids (also my 1/2 brother ben) got pulled over and in jail. Dad is not in the picture at all...

Fought for 2yrs to get her out of the system and with family. I didnt have the house, wasnt married, just starting my career so I begged my older sister and husband to help me. We won guardianship, well they did.

Now 6yrs later things are a living hell. Litterally a Cindarella story for my poor younger sister. She is a salve and not loved, emotionally and phycologically abused. Physical abuse is not far off, they are already abusing their 8yr old son who had Add-Adhd-CI-DD to name a few.. I cant take it anymore and neither can little sis...

They keep threatening to never let me see her again, kysa crys when I take her home.. They have absolutly no reason to take her away from me, less the fact we just dont get along. They are Bad people in my book, I am good poeple.. w/out gettin into to much strippers-gambeling-bad morals-materialistic kind of people..

So here i am talking to atty's, calling child protective services and going for guardianship of my now 15yr old sister Kysa whom I love like my own... I jsut need prayers. Atty wants way more $$ than I expected. I am going to call other family members to help me, but $$ is tight everywhere. So credit card bill here I come I guess. Unless a gift from god aprears.

To top it off they are moving to CA in 60-90days so this has to happen now or I will not see her again, that would rip my heart out... Kysa is 15yrs and has a say, but I am so worried I will loose this fight til she is 18yrs and who know hwat will happen to her before then...

Prayers please! :cry:

[Barbwire]

Oh Jen, how heartwrenching for you and your sister. :cry: I wish you the best of luck in getting custody of her. http://www.jammerbabe.com/flotilla/images/smiles/grouphug.gif

[Blameitonbrio]

I am so sorry you and your sister are going through this. You will definitely be in my prayers.

[moonrize]

So sorry about your family problems. I know this rips your heart out. Prayers that things go well for you and your sis.

[PASOFAN]

Thank you guys... Words of insparation and Prayers mean alot. I am worried. Worst case senario I only get visitation rights but that would stop them from saying I cant see her....

My day job I am a loan officer and I live w/a quadraplegic in his home, so I kinda live at work, but dont work that much w/him. She would move into my down stairs apt with me, but it isnt the nice newly build home my other sis has..

God be with Kysa and I...

[Pasogirlz]

I saw this coming last year I'm afraid. :-? Of course you have our full support and many prayers. I'm sure your sis knows how much you love her if you are willing to go this far for her.

[hast]

I'm so sorry. I wish you all the best. I've been through a custody battle and know how hard it is. It's a good thing your sister is old enough to have a voice. Good Luck!

[Terri]

I am so sorry Jen, this is beyond words. Keep fighting, you are doing the right thing, may God be with you.

[Cindy]

Good luck. Even if this does not work out as planned you can always be there for her. I do hope that it works out though. Best wishes for you all.

[JennLM]

So sorry this is happening. I hope it goes your way.

[Carol Nelson]

PASOFAN...you're a good person...you're in my prayers...like Cindy says, if this doesn't work out as you wish right now...she's old enough, she will know where to find you. God bless!

[PasoPerson38]

Oh don't worry, God knows how much you love your sister and he will help you get her.
Prayers and being said for you

[Brigitte]

So sorry to hear that, hope that everything will go good and you get custody

[motorgypsy]

This is so sad. We wish you both luck and happiness

[darcy]

Jen, you and your lil sis are in my prayers! I too am in the midst of a legal battle with my ex over our son. Sometimes it amazes me what the courts will allow parents to do to their children and still let them anywhere near them!!

[PASOFAN]

Thanks all.

Darcy: yes in WI parents have to almost kill their kids to get them taken away... Took me 2yrs to get here out of the foster home.. Seems like the courts want them in the system.. Well here we go again..

But this time just trying to get her away from the other sister. I have lots of evidence and friends and family are writing charachter stmts for me. I see the Atty tomorrow, he wants big $$. I asked the aunt and uncle I thought were supporting me. My aunt said yes she loan me some $$ but called back 10mins later and said uncle ken said no $$ to me. I was devastated to find that they were not backing me as much as I thought.. Cruel world we live in when familys cant help the children in the family even though they know what is right. I alwasy thought Kysa and I could go to them, but I was wrong..

well, this is a stressfull time, but I am keeping faith in the lord that he will guide me and kysa and make things right...

In him
Jen

[DebbieS]

Jen
So sorry to hear this. I have always felt that you and your sister are very close, seeing your pics of you 2 riding together.... she is lucky to have you fighting for her. Being 15, her voice in court should make a difference.

I will be praying for you and your sister.

Good luck

Debbie

[pnalley]

PASOFAN,

First let me say I know nothing about the law. However, have you done a google search for any type of childrens right advocates in your state?

I know in Georgia there are organizations that try to stand up for the rights of kids that are abused. Sometimes they even help with the financial end of the attorneys fee's. Possibly there is something like that in your state.

My prayers are with you and your sister, as well as your half brother. Does he have anyone fighting for him?

[PASOFAN]

My 1/2 brother is with his real dad and doing wonderful.. My sis is the one living with the older sister and needs out..

I tried to get legal Aid, but I make too much... So I am on my own.

Wed we file the petition with the county... When Jess (older sis) gets the notification from the court, **** (stuff) will hit the fan, I prabably wont see kysa til court. I am trying to talk w/her now to prepare her for what is next and tell her even if we dont talk she will know I am fighting for her.

Kysa (little sis) has been writing stuff down for a while of what is happening, I told her to give that to the court apointed Guardian Atlightem (her atty), and to tell them EVERYTHING especially what she wants. I hope she can stay strong, jess can be very vindictive and will take things away from Kysa to punish her thru this and scare her..

I hope I can see her in the mean time but doubtful..

Thanks for the comments and keep those prayers comin!

[CarolU]

Yes, I think at age 14 a child can say who they want to live with. Call your local Juvenille Court and see what they say. It may be all she has to do is go to them to get placed with you.

Good luck...

[Pasogirlz]

Stay strong Jen. It sounds like you have a very strong case to me.

[pnalley]

Wow, my heart goes out to both of you.

Especially her. 14 & 15 is a really tough age. Not a kid, but not yet a women either. Usually someone that age doesn't have the confidence (that typically comes with age) to stand up for themselves. They are still at the age where they want to please everyone.

God willing things will go your way.

[hast]

Thinking about you and wishing for the best. Stay strong for both your sake.

[Pasomom]

Hang tough Jen, Kysa deserves to be with you and somehow you will find a way to pay that attorney. God will send you an angel to help you, just keep praying.

Some suggestions have been made here, and it won't hurt to check into some things yourself, - sometimes attorneys don't always have their full attention invested as you will.

On the other hand, if it looks like you are going to court, make sure you are gettng what you are paying for. Hope your attorney has a good record.

It sounds like you and Kysa have been collecting some good evidence. Be sure to tell Kysa that this is her only chance, and NOT to let your sister bullie her! It DOES happen with young children...Pasosis just went thru a custody battle, and the custodial party does have the edge, but they do not necessarily always come out the victor.

But your sis must understand that this is the ONLY time you can fight this battle...it is too expensive to drag on and on......she will need to do her part, regardless of the threats from your sister.

And remember, a less expensive, loving HOME is better than an expensive house, where there is no love.

We're with you girl. PM me if you need to talk.
Also, Pasosis may have some ideas and encourgment for you. You may want to PM her also.

[Pasomom]

Polly, were you talking about the 8 year old with ADD? That was Pasofan's sister's SON (Pasofan's nephew - I think), and yes, I am wondering the same thing....maybe someone needs to see if the courts will take their son away also..... It sure sounds like the right thing to do. The system should at least be looking at both children!

[PasoVicki]

Pasofan -- I've been a foster parent (in California) for many years, so even though I'm not an attorney, I know a good deal about how these kind of things work. If you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be happy to discuss the situation with you.
Vicki

[baileyholc]

Good Luck Pasofan. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your faith and your chin up. Stay honest and ask questions. Even if you think it is not worth it. Ask it anyway. You will be supprised when you get the answer. Stay strong, we are here for you. :hug

[JennLM]

I wanted to wish you the best of luck to get custody.

[PASOFAN]

Thank you guys, I have been calling local child rights places. Most are not helpfull. Aparently in WI you cant go for guardianship on your own you NEED a atty to go forward. So that is what's happening. I tried to call kysa last night, no answer. I need to talke to her before this goes down, I will keep tryin...

Have lots of great Charachter ref's from friends and family, that will help me too in this case showing I have support.

I will keep you all posted. The Atty said that guardianship petitions go thru quick, so 30days this will be over and done with.. Even if I dont win guardianship he guarentees the judge will give me legal visitation, even if they do move to CA I will get her on her school breaks..

Anyway, thank you all!

[PasoPerson]

I know this may sound "stupid" to you, but I can assure you it's true.

PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY. God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He can provide the way, the $$$, whatever is required. If you pray believing, really believing, you will be amazed.

There are three answers to prayer, "yes", "no", or "wait". Whatever the answer, the time will come when you and sis see that was exactly what had to occur at that time. (Speaking from experience.)

I will be praying for you, for God to work mightily in this matter. God bless you -