They Left Yesterday, I miss them

[baileyholc]

My daughters went to their fathers and will be back on friday, I know this. But, I still miss them while they are gone. I have them most of the time. This year their dad will have them approcemently 3 full weeks this year. Two consecutive and one non. I think, if it was not for Jim my husband now my girls would not know what a real Dad is. Well, at least he takes them. Even if he does not spend time with them while he has them. Sorry for the ranting. Just had to take a little of this weight off my chest.

[Pasogirlz]

(((((hugs))))))) ;-)

[appyday]

http://forums.somd.com/images/smilies/huggy.gif

[baileyholc]

Thanks Lori, Hugs are most welcome right now. The tears just keep comeing down. :cry:

[Pasogirlz]

Thanks Lori, Hugs are most welcome right now. The tears just keep comeing down. :cry:

This is when a giant paso mane comes in handy. ;-)

*So are you still planning on starting to shop for one after the New Year?

[motorgypsy]

we have them such a short time and so much of their growing up is so hectic it sometimes takes a brief absence to think about what we love about them. BIG HUG

[baileyholc]

Thanks everybody, for the hugs. I do wish I had a Paso Mane to wipe my tears away. I Have always been looking Lori. I just can buy untill after the new year. It won't be long. I am hoping to find the perfect one for me. My girls will be home for Christmas. That is great. I don't want this week to pass to quickly, but I still cant wait. Smiles yaw. Merry Christmas. And love to you all. Thanks again.

[CarolU]

It may be hard to have them gone for a few days, but believe me, they are better off with SOME attention from their father then none at all. Both my sisters raised children from men who disapeared out of the child's life. I don't care how much you try, those kids were convinced it was their fault their dads didn't love them. It was very hard on them.

Who knows, some men actually become good fathers when faced with losing their children...a lot of times it is their own mother who insists on it. This happened to my girlfriend and she said she should have divorced him years earlier, he was so MUCH better with the kids after the divorce.

Hopefully things will work out for the best.

in the meantime, ((((HUGS)))) to you...hang in there. It'll be Friday real soon.

[baileyholc]

Thanks Carol. That is conforting to know. He just recently got interested in how they are doing in school. He calls to talk to them on holidays and sends cards occassionly. I just wish he would make more of an effort sometimes to come the events like Tina's cello recidels and Kathy's choirs concerts. Stuff that matter to them like their babtisum and ball games. They love Jim (my husband now) and appreciates that he attends these avents. But, to them its not the same has having their dad their. But, you are right. A little time is better than no time. Merry Chistmas.

[songbird]

I can relate. My ex-husband, father of my two kids was not really a hands on dad to our son, and I left him when our daughter was 7 months old. He only really bothered with them as a means to "get back at me" for the longest time, but that wore thin to him so he quit. He actually fought me for set down visitation which we had up until that point left open, and when the judge said ok..you can have them for the first two weeks of july starting this summer he said to the judge..um...can we wait till next year? I might be BUSY!" The judge turned to me and asked "is he serious?". Sadly he was. However, he did get a bit more involved as the kids got older. He didn't always send cards, he rarely called, but he always made sure he had the kids at xmas and they had a great time. He died almost 3 years ago now, and no matter who has been in my life, or how few visits or short periods of time the kids spent with their dad..they remember every second of it. If your childrens father is good with them, don't be sad when they go, be happy for their opportunity, and be sure to tell them you're glad they enjoy their time with their dad. Time is short.

[Barbwire]

What's this? You are childfree? Party, woman......PARTY!

http://www.jammerbabe.com/flotilla/images/smiles/dancers.gif

[baileyholc]

Songbird, I am sorry to hear of the great lose your children had. What little time they spent with him will be treasured. I am sure.

I wish I could say that everytime my girls went to spend time with there dad was great. But, it wasn't. Kathy comes home in tears most of the time because of the way her step mom treats Tina. Or she will say something really hurtful to her. It is sad. He does not see the way this women is hurting our girls couse he does not want to. I have tried to tell him myself, he would not beleive me. Befor she came along they had the best time. He would visit every other weekend sometimes spend the weekend down here. He would call them every other weekend he was not with them. All that changed when he married and didn't invite them to the wedding. It hurt them. This woman has three of her own and they are older teens now, but still come around. Kat and Tina end up spending most of their visit with them, and not with their dad. It is sad. Kat told me that she feel obligated to visit couse she spend so much time with me. I feel hurt for my girls and it... well just hurts. I worry while they are away.

I want to go visit friends that live near by and I thought that since the girls were away that I would. But, I cant bring myself to leave the house for fear that they may call. They never do but I wish they would. And they just might one day.

I am not crying as much now as I was before. When they get home I will try to place another free to good home add. Just kidding. It is too quiet around here with out all the arguing. I tryed to start a fight with the cats yesterday, It didnt work. ;-) They just want to sleep.

[baileyholc]

What's this? You are childfree? Party, woman......PARTY!

http://www.jammerbabe.com/flotilla/images/smiles/dancers.gif

If I could get the hubbie out of bed to dance with me I would. It's no fun parting by myself. The strongest I have in the house is homemade cough searup. :lol:

[Jane Hurl]

What CarolU said is sooooo true. Be glad for your kids, even though it's hard on you.

I've been there too. My son's father was a manic depressive. Depending on where he was in his cycle, he'd either completely ignore my son for months on end, or be calling him every day. It was VERY hard on my son. He'd go from wondering and worrying if his dad was even alive, to feeling completely smothered by a guy who he resented for having ignored him for so long.

But it was important to let my son know his father, so I sucked it up and let him visit for 2 weeks every summer -- as long as it was where his grandmother lived. His father, at that time, was abusing both alcohol and drugs. I was a basketcase by the time my son got home again.

So, dry your eyes, dear. Try to enjoy a little private time with your man. Friday's not that far away...and we're all here to offer support/anecdotes/opinions ... and ribald jokes!

[baileyholc]

:D Thanks.

[baileyholc]

My girls are coming home today. I can't wait. :razz: I hope they had a good time. They never called me while they were away. :( They will be happy when they get home. We are going tomarrow to get a live Christmas tree. They love to have one. We have our fack tree on the front porch they put it up Thanksgiving. I can't wait to get our live one up. I just love the smell of the live trees. :razz: My girls are coming home today. :razz: YEPEEE! :razz:

[Jane Hurl]

While it's a tad bruising to your ego, don't be upset that your girls didn't call while they were away. It indicates that they were (probably) having a wonderful time, and that's important. Hopefully your ex treated them royally and they come away thinking that they have a great dad. Their futures might well depend on that since very often little girls grow up looking to marry someone just like dear ol' Dad!

Enjoy your tree-ing venture! :D