I am in a "heap of trouble"

[Helene]

I am in soooo much trouble. My husband is going to "murder" me. I was just offered a 19 year old Paso mare and her weanling filly for free. The mare is unrideable, but supposedly gets along fine with other horses. The filly hasn't been handled at all, I think. The mare is registered and I think, the stallion owner will sign a breeding certificate on the baby...The filly is supposed to be "nice", a dun. I suspect she will turn grey as both, her dam and her sire, are grey.
I don't like the situation these horses are in and am doing this only for their benefit. I have not seen these horses and I am curious what shape they will be in. After evaluating them, I will try to find nice homes for them.... and I have no intentions of asking much, if anything, for them.
In the meantime.....what am I going to say to my husband? I am supposed to cut down on the number of horses I have.

[moonrize]

"oh honey, those horses have been out there a while, you're just now noticing them?" :shock:

Good luck, and remember it's easier to ask for forgiveness rather than permission :twisted:

[Polly Aulton]

Boy you got it right Sally. It is easier to ask for forgiveness.

How about if you tell him they are only here until they are sold? You're just taking care of them and gentling the foal to make sale easier. Once he's used to them being around he'll forget all about it. Course I'd make an extra effort to buy him a really nice Xmas gift!

Let us know how it works out.
Polly
www.pojoranch.net

[Pasogirlz]

"oh honey, those horses have been out there a while, you're just now noticing them?" :shock:



That is what I always go with....or I say they belong to a friend and we are just helping them out for a brief period.... :lol:

[pnalley]

With my husband it is better to point out the positive features and get him to think it is his idea. Lucky for me he's really easy when it comes to getting more animals

[Linda Y]

I am a really bad liar.
I would have to tell him the truth...I took the horses because they were in a bad place and would probably be sent to slaughter, or worse, left to starve. If they are in bad shape, it will only reinforce your excuse.

[Beth Worden]

You know, I have been married nearly 30 years (to THIS particular husband) and I just tell him what I'm buying/getting (horse-wise). It never occurs to me to ask "permission" to get a new horse, sell one, trade one, whatever. In turn I don't ask him about what new car (or old car) he has bought, sold or traded. I just don't consider it my business. I pay for all things horse related, but on occassion he will buy a gift for me that is horse related. Same with me and his cars or guns. I WILL tell him prices but simply as a course of conversation - not as a confession. I cannot be unique in this, am I????

[SharonP]

Tell him that this is the way you are and that's why he married you. If he wants a divorce, then you'll "understand."

He'll be so stunned that you mentioned divorce he won't notice the horses.

[CarolU]

You're not alone Beth. I don't ask either...but then the horses are mine. I pay all expenses on them and do 90% of the work, so he really can't say much.

And like you, I don't tell him how to spend his money. On occasion I draw the limit on something...like "No more hiking boots unless you throw some out!" My husband is a collector. I'm renting a BIG dumpster when he dies.

[Fuego]

Put red ribbons on the horse, and excitedly exclaim " Surprise! Merry Christmas! I just couldn't wait til the 25th to give you this presnt...."
Smile innocently ( but have your running shoes on)

[pnalley]

I like Fuego's idea :twisted:

I don't ask permission, but neither do I spend "our" money on a large ticket item without discussion. He wouldn't either.

But we BOTH have horses, we BOTH have cars and we BOTH have access to every bank account we have. We have no seperate money. So it's just common courtisy to discuss large ticket items.

[Thomasj]

could always play dumb. i do alot and it actually works!! lmao

"what horses?"

[Blameitonbrio]

I am feeling much better about those puppies now! :lol:

You know he probably loves you for the part of you that wants to help those horses.

In our family, we discuss acquisitions that affect the whole family before they are made. I don't consider that to be asking "permission" -- just the way our family operates. Now, in the case of those puppies, the acquisition grew from 1 to 3 puppies after the discussion! :lol:

[Heidi]

Fuego's idea made me laugh out loud! :lol:

If you can afford the feed/farrier/vet bills, well...I would have a hard time leaving them behind, too. I would expect to have to feed them through the winter and try to sell them in the Spring.

[Terry Wallace]

Are you kidding Beth? I don't ask permission! There is no need for that....
I just find a way to tell him outright...or let him read my email!

Helene is doing a noble thing...considering where the horses are coming from, I don't think I'd want them co-mingling with my herd!
She will have her hands full just handling these two....

Helene...did you get those crossties built? Maybe we should have a crosstie buliding party !! I will bring the concrete :D

[GeorgeGuns]

Ya know, if they really are in poor shape/circumstance, and there is a probability of even getting some payback on them, then its not much to argue. I bet you will find that your hubby has a huge heart too, especially if these two are in really poor shape. Its not permanant, its not like you are getting them for yourself or being a "collector". And after all, its Christmas time!!

[Thomasj]

would i be in a "heap of trouble" if i said i needed some glue? :twisted:

lmao relax i'm only kiddin!!

[CarolU]

You know...I happen to know that Thomas needs a Paso Fino. :razz:

[Helene]

Well...Terry, those horses won't be mingling with my herd. I am thinking about taking them to our other place or the other side of the house. I don't turn "strange" horses out with my own for quite a while....and, especially not those (I know where they are coming from).
I might take you up in helping me to build those crossties. I still need to do them. I have kept your design and pictures.
I did tell my husband this afternoon that I have two horses coming. He wasn't too enthused, but he is really a sweetheart. He just told me that now he can go and get himself a couple of "junkers" (cars). I told him as long as they were free....and he was trying to find them good homes....
I haven't seen those two horses, but I have seen others that were kept there....I know that the filly Hasn't been handled at all. The mare has had 6 foals. I have no idea how she is. I'll be taking pictures before and after...I'll be picking them up Sunday morning...

[Thomasj]

i'll prob end up w/ shiloh. me and him seem to have this bond. he's jus too young to ride :(

she's had 6?? wow... my lil bro is almost at 6. his wife is preggers w/ they're 4th and she's not even 21. tho i hope she doesn't give out a foal tho. that would be jus weird lmao

[Lois York]

I'm with you Beth too...I never ask! I do as I please, he may say something in passing, but I have nothing to answer to, I pay for them and that's, that.
Helene telling the truth is as good as it gets.

[Thomasj]

i agree w/ lois. you cannot place a value on honesty, for it is truely priceless.

[dana]

No doubt in my mind that the horse Gods are thanking you. can hardly wait for pictures now on sunday!

[Palomino_Lover]

Tsk tsk tsk.. just be honest. Sheesh!!!

[Camilla]

I'm with Beth et al.
I do not ask permission... the barn(s) are my domain... I do all the work (except for moving round bales with the tractor... and poop piles... but he loves his tractor), feeding, etc, and I pay all the bills there and I don't bother him with the silly little details of my horsey life.
He is a farrier, and the last thing he wants to do at the end of the day is discuss anything to do with horses, anyway. Ignorance is bliss. As a matter of fact I even had to hire a new farrier... he refuses to even poke his nose in the barn anymore (although he actually co-owns a few of them), haha. Makes for a happier home life anyway when i don't have to beg him to go to the barn and work more at the end of a long hard day.
We talk about our kids, the state of the world, coffee, our kids and whatever makes us laugh... and our kids.
However, I have bought 5 horses in the last 2 months, and thankfully 4 of them are the same colour... although I don't ask permission or bore him with the details... He doesn't really need to know all the horrifying details does he? "Oh that grey one? that's the same grey one. yep... it's all the same horse just looks different from different angles and different times of day!" LOL
Although I do miss having him out riding with me... it's not all bad. Who would look after the kids when we go riding if he came with me? :lol:

[Monty]

ROFL - in 36 years - I don't remember asking permission for anything - that is why when we said our vows I said cherish NOT obey! ;-)
I would love to take the one bay mare for free on another thread - but as of this weekend we will have 6 horses here - only 2 are ours - the rest are daughter's and her hubby's :roll: But no more room - until they buy a new house with land - they live in a subdivsion and had boarded , but care is going down hill there :roll:
ROFL - my husband is a collector too - drives me nuts - but then, he is the one that said bring the other horses over :shock: