greyhorsewoman
01-21-2007, 04:42 PM
The OFFICIAL HORSE Enthusiast’s DON’T List:
DON’T keep your horse in a stall. It will cause cribbing, weaving, wind-sucking.
DON’T let your horse alone in a paddock. A paddock is just a slightly larger stall.
DON”T let your horse out all night in a pasture. If God had wanted horses to be outside, he would have covered their bodies with hair to keep them warm.
DON’T let your horse just graze in a pasture. You should be working with him all the time.
DON’T keep more than two horses. Each individual horse requires considerable time and energy, and it is impossible for a responsible horse owner to spend quality time with more than two horses.
DON’T keep less than five horses. Horses are herd animals, and five horses is the minimum number for proper herd dynamics.
DON’T feed your horse alfalfa. Alfalfa is the invention of evil capitalists to make cows give more milk. It will cause founder and colic in horses.
DON’T feed your horses grain. Grain will make your horse hot and hard to control.
DON’T feed your horse strictly hay. Hay is not a complete enough diet, it needs to be supplemented with balanced grain formula feeds.
DON’T feed your horse barley, oats, or beet pulp. Grains should only be fed after high processing techniques.
DON’T feed your horses carrots or apples or other treats. They can cause colic.
DON’T forget to treat your horses. An occasional carrot, apple, or other treat is a pleasant change from their regular diet and can be a good motivator in training.
DON’T let your horses eat out of rubber tubs, they will turn their noses pink.
DON’T let your horses drink out of metal tubs. They can rust and might cause water poisoning.
DON’T forget to heat your horses water in winter or they may not drink enough.
DON’T use electrical heaters in your horses water tanks or buckets. They could play with the cords and get electrocuted.
DON’T post messages to a horse list. You will surely get bopped on the head for thinking that someone else cares about your silly opinions.
DON’T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do with horses, but it’s a good rule, nonetheless.
DON’T tattoo your horse on the lip. A horse thief will cut off their lip.
DON’T microchip your horse. A near by cell phone can cause a microchipped horse to explode, or so says the folks that tattoo the lips of horses.
DON’T brand your horse. A horse thief will just brand overtop of it and make a unique brand that resembles the symbol of the rock star currently known as ‘Prince.’
DON’T leave a halter on your horse when unattended. He could get caught on something and break his neck.
DON’T leave your horse unattended without a halter. He will be that much harder to catch in the pasture.
DON’T put shoes on your horse. They were meant to go barefoot and will naturally adjust to all terrains if given the opportunity.
DON’T ride your horse without proper shoes. He could experience cracked hooves, bruises and abscesses. Besides, no farrier can make enough money just doing trims!
DON’T transport your horse in an aluminum trailer. In an accident, an aluminum trailer is like a tin can and gets crushed too easily.
DON’T transport your horse in a steel trailer. They are excessively heavy and harder to pull with your truck. On days you plan to have an accident, it’s acceptable to use a steel trailer.
DON’T let your horse drive. It’s against in the law in most states.
DON’T enter your horse in saddle classes. It’s B-O-R-I-NG.
DON’T enter your horse in dressage. It’s B-O-R-I-NG with a capital “B.”
DON’T enter your horse in jumper classes. The jumps will injure his joints.
DON’T send your horse out with a trainer. Only a psychopath would send their beloved horse with a complete stranger.
DON’T train your horse yourself. You’ve got a great horse, and he deserves a much better trainer than you will ever be.
DON’T get a registered horse. Too much inbreeding has produced horses with temperament and health problems.
DON’T get an auction horse. You don’t know anything about their background. In fact, if you are thinking about buying a horse at auction, buy a goat instead.
DON’T don’t. That’s right, you heard me, now just DON’T!
AND, the #1 DON’T ……..
DON’T trim your horse’s whiskers. Horses use their whiskers to determine the size of their head, which is important when they are out shopping for a new hat.
- NOW - I admit that I received the above in reference to something else, but realized how easily it lent itself to a 'horse tranlation' ... hope you enjoy --
DON’T keep your horse in a stall. It will cause cribbing, weaving, wind-sucking.
DON’T let your horse alone in a paddock. A paddock is just a slightly larger stall.
DON”T let your horse out all night in a pasture. If God had wanted horses to be outside, he would have covered their bodies with hair to keep them warm.
DON’T let your horse just graze in a pasture. You should be working with him all the time.
DON’T keep more than two horses. Each individual horse requires considerable time and energy, and it is impossible for a responsible horse owner to spend quality time with more than two horses.
DON’T keep less than five horses. Horses are herd animals, and five horses is the minimum number for proper herd dynamics.
DON’T feed your horse alfalfa. Alfalfa is the invention of evil capitalists to make cows give more milk. It will cause founder and colic in horses.
DON’T feed your horses grain. Grain will make your horse hot and hard to control.
DON’T feed your horse strictly hay. Hay is not a complete enough diet, it needs to be supplemented with balanced grain formula feeds.
DON’T feed your horse barley, oats, or beet pulp. Grains should only be fed after high processing techniques.
DON’T feed your horses carrots or apples or other treats. They can cause colic.
DON’T forget to treat your horses. An occasional carrot, apple, or other treat is a pleasant change from their regular diet and can be a good motivator in training.
DON’T let your horses eat out of rubber tubs, they will turn their noses pink.
DON’T let your horses drink out of metal tubs. They can rust and might cause water poisoning.
DON’T forget to heat your horses water in winter or they may not drink enough.
DON’T use electrical heaters in your horses water tanks or buckets. They could play with the cords and get electrocuted.
DON’T post messages to a horse list. You will surely get bopped on the head for thinking that someone else cares about your silly opinions.
DON’T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do with horses, but it’s a good rule, nonetheless.
DON’T tattoo your horse on the lip. A horse thief will cut off their lip.
DON’T microchip your horse. A near by cell phone can cause a microchipped horse to explode, or so says the folks that tattoo the lips of horses.
DON’T brand your horse. A horse thief will just brand overtop of it and make a unique brand that resembles the symbol of the rock star currently known as ‘Prince.’
DON’T leave a halter on your horse when unattended. He could get caught on something and break his neck.
DON’T leave your horse unattended without a halter. He will be that much harder to catch in the pasture.
DON’T put shoes on your horse. They were meant to go barefoot and will naturally adjust to all terrains if given the opportunity.
DON’T ride your horse without proper shoes. He could experience cracked hooves, bruises and abscesses. Besides, no farrier can make enough money just doing trims!
DON’T transport your horse in an aluminum trailer. In an accident, an aluminum trailer is like a tin can and gets crushed too easily.
DON’T transport your horse in a steel trailer. They are excessively heavy and harder to pull with your truck. On days you plan to have an accident, it’s acceptable to use a steel trailer.
DON’T let your horse drive. It’s against in the law in most states.
DON’T enter your horse in saddle classes. It’s B-O-R-I-NG.
DON’T enter your horse in dressage. It’s B-O-R-I-NG with a capital “B.”
DON’T enter your horse in jumper classes. The jumps will injure his joints.
DON’T send your horse out with a trainer. Only a psychopath would send their beloved horse with a complete stranger.
DON’T train your horse yourself. You’ve got a great horse, and he deserves a much better trainer than you will ever be.
DON’T get a registered horse. Too much inbreeding has produced horses with temperament and health problems.
DON’T get an auction horse. You don’t know anything about their background. In fact, if you are thinking about buying a horse at auction, buy a goat instead.
DON’T don’t. That’s right, you heard me, now just DON’T!
AND, the #1 DON’T ……..
DON’T trim your horse’s whiskers. Horses use their whiskers to determine the size of their head, which is important when they are out shopping for a new hat.
- NOW - I admit that I received the above in reference to something else, but realized how easily it lent itself to a 'horse tranlation' ... hope you enjoy --