This is some scary stuff** update

[RR]

I remember this past summer driving home from work and finding our back road filled with sheriff deputies. Of course I had to stop and find out what was going on. They said that they were looking for a man that is wanted for questioning for a sexual assault on a minor. They asked me if I had seen anyone unusual around our neighborhood and I told them I hadn’t. I went up to my house and called my landlord to see if she knew what was going on, she told me that the police were looking for her handyman “Richard” because someone reported him as assaulting their daughter. She told me that a family across the street reported this guy for having sex with their 14yr old daughter. She said it was all a lie and they (the neighbors) were just trying to make trouble. She said that “Richard” didn’t have a mean bone in his body and would never do something like that. I left it at that. This morning on the front page of our newspaper was this: http://www.tdo.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060106/NEWS01/601060342/1010

This man lived a horse pasture away from me, my daughter would ride and walk up and down the road all the time, my daughter knew the girl. I usually look on the police sexual predator site our department of corrections has up just to make sure there was nobody in our area. Of course he was not listed because he did not report that address as his. Plus I didn’t know his last name.
I would have never thought something like this could happen out where we live. Now I know the real truth why these people moved.

[Kerry W]

It is scary, but it can and DOES happen anywhere...most often times, sexual abuse happens within one's own family, or at the hands of a trusted family friend.

[Heidi]

I worked for two Sheriff Offices, one in Klickitat County, Washington state and the other, here in our county in Georgia; Walton County. In Klickitat, it was part of my job to register the sex offenders as they moved into our county and remove the ones from our listing who had registered in different counties because they moved.

The SCARIEST thing about that part of my job...was how NORMAL these offenders looked! Every single one, looked like a nice next-door neighbor type of person. THAT is what was scary!

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, only the Shadow knows!
(comic book line? tv show?)

Makes me glad I never had kids so I don't have to worry about talking to them about this to keep them safe.
Heidi

[Monty]

And now there are thousands ,who knows where, that are under the radar since Katrina hit ! :shocked

[Jane Hurl]

Greeeeaat! Now we've got him! Like we don't have enough of our own. Frankly, I don't know why they allow child molesters out of jail once they've been convicted. It is a proven fact that they are NOT candidates for rehabilitation. Couldn't they have a "home for retired child molesters"? Not a jail, per se, but a community from which they cannot leave.

[Edurne]

Parents "be alert". I was stalked as a young girl (10 or 11) by a neighbour. A churchgoing neighbour...... my church. It has had a lasting affect in one's feeling of safety and trust.

[Brigitte]

Whoa Edurne, that's scary :shock:

[Edurne]

That's right Brigitte ..... and you are super cute, so be very careful.
Your auntie Edurne speaking.

[Lynn]

The sad thing is that there are also a lot of sexual predators out there that haven't even been caught yet. I know 2 that my ex has assaulted and threatened so they have not gotten help and he has made threats about what he would like to do to our daughter. I have been trying to get him prosecuted on violation of a restraining order, harrasment, and tried to get the women to come forward but he just keeps slippin through.

[Ginger]

Yeah, and then there are the freaks keeping it in the family. Thank god Grandpa's been dead a long time- it isn't my family any more. Now if my uncle would just get hit by a train.

[motorgypsy]

And let's not forget to warn your daughters and her young friends about date rape. It's by far the most common of all. It's someone the girl is in love with and trusts. Frequently alcohol or drugs are involved but many times they aren't. Young girls really don't have a clue just how strong the emotions of the adolescent male are. And most of the time when it happens the girl never tells anyone and is emotionally scarred for life and frequently ends up pregnant. Talk to your girls. You may think they aren't listening but they are. Talk to your boys and make sure they understand that no means NO - period!! I personally know many many girls who were date raped. I only know three who were actually raped and all three were by their fathers. Terribly sad.

[Jane Hurl]

I write and produce a "healty lifestyles" feature that I sell to radio stations. It was originally done in conjunction with health care professionals here in Alberta. Here's a copy of one of the scripts that they approved for airing:

If your daugher is interested in dating, now’s the time to discuss date rape. Back in a moment.


The vast majority of sexual assault victims were dating, or acquainted with, their attacker. One third of the victims were teens. If I had a teenage daughter, here are the things I’d tell her. First, I’d tell her to say what she means and set limits before anything, even a kiss, takes place. I’d tell her that she can say, “No” at any point and walk away. I’d tell her that no one owes sex, no matter how fancy the restaurant. I’d tell her to trust her feelings and leave if some guy makes her uneasy, to avoid being alone with anyone she doesn’t know very well and I’d tell her to beware of a date who doesn’t take “No” for an answer on other issues.

[Ginger]

Also, this is arguable, but there are also situations where girls aren't necessarily date raped, but date "coerced" and just plain "worn down". Boys are dumb, pushy, and not respectful or caring of girls' feelings, and they'll try any little thing to get a piece sometimes. Finally the girl thinks "well, if I tell him to stop, he will- he loves me, and he promised he would"... and then he doesn't. Then, they always argue "you didn't tell me NO" and the girl ends up feeling stupid for letting anything start, AND hurt because it wouldn't end.

Complicated, but then, so are humans. Sex (how come THAT word hasn't been censored yet? Hmm) complicates and ruins things sometimes.

And make sure they know not to take a drink of anything they didn't open themselves. No sips out of someone else's glass, bottle or can. You don't leave a drink on the table or on the bar when you go to the restroom or to dance, either. Roofies are tasteless and can knock you out and you will have no memory of anything or anyone for hours.

Someone ordered drinks for my lady friend and I and had them delivered to his table, then had the waitress bring them to us. Mine had a roofie in it and to this day I have no idea what happened to me for several hours. We left with another person to go dancing at another place (thank God I didn't drive) and I woke up puking in a stall in the ladies room several hours later. I had bruises from hitting the stall walls and can only remember the barmaid handing 7up and crackers under the door and someone mopping the floor under the door and walls. My friend was dancing and would come check on me every 15 minutes or so according to her. I was so embarrased I didn't go to that place for months afterward. Another friend of mine's ex-wife was drinking and woke up to find herself walking along a dark road miles away from where she had been, missing her jewelry and her underwear. It also happened to a male friend of mine in Houston. He woke up at the airport in his Mercedes with all his money and Rolex gone, totally diroriented.

Only take drinks from the person behind the bar or in sealed containers and keep your eyes on them. If you leave them to go somewhere, throw them out and get new ones. They don't call it the date rape drug for nothing.

Marelyn (posting on Alex's account)

[Edurne]

What excellent advice - I don't know what a roofie is but I suppose that is the same slang as mickey!

[Blameitonbrio]

That is a very good point Poni. I wouldn't be surprised if many more situations occur like you describe than outright date rape where someon is saying "no". It probably involves similar trust of the familiar and longing to please as sexual abuse from a family member situations.

Good thread with good advice.

[ASB.Immortality]

I worked for two Sheriff Offices, one in Klickitat County, Washington state and the other, here in our county in Georgia; Walton County. In Klickitat, it was part of my job to register the sex offenders as they moved into our county and remove the ones from our listing who had registered in different counties because they moved.

The SCARIEST thing about that part of my job...was how NORMAL these offenders looked! Every single one, looked like a nice next-door neighbor type of person. THAT is what was scary!

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, only the Shadow knows!
(comic book line? tv show?)

Makes me glad I never had kids so I don't have to worry about talking to them about this to keep them safe.
Heidi

It's amazing what & who you find out about when you start dealing with the TAC stuff isn't it. I work for Pickens Co & was amazed at what we had.

[Ginger]

Even without actual sexual intercourse, there are still many unpleasantries sometimes. A boyfriend can just be "grabby" "touchy/feely" and.. well, for lack of better phrasing, "nasty" about a lot of things that people wouldn't even believe if someone was to go into actual detail (NO). It's like... "adult molesting" or something.

Some guys are just stupid and will go for ANYTHING they can get- we call them "crumb-snatchin **********" 'round these here parts.

[dana]

I had a girlfriend who got slipped the date rape drug. she was 40 years old (so not a kid) and got off of work one night and went with two other ladies she worked with to have a beer after work when they all got done with their banking jobs.

the three women had two beers and the plan was to head home to husbands and kids. one of the women knew a guy in the bar who came and sat with them. when my friend when to the ladies room before she left, she returned to tell everyone she was leaving and this "predator" who sat with them had bought all three ladies one more beer.

she called me at 7am the next morning. didn't remember a thing that had happened since the previous night around 6pm. was frantic that hubby would kill her. after she told me the few things she did remember about the evening, i told her let the hubby know what was going on and to get her hind end to where i could pick her up and we'd head for the emergency room.

she declined the rape kit when we arrived since a kit has to involve the police. she did get the morning after pill and big time doses against transmitted diseases. but the saddest part of it all was the biggest reason she declined the rape kit was because the doctor in the emergency room told us that after 8 hours, this drug no longer can be tested for. we were just floored!

we couldn't believe what we were hearing and even more amazed that someone could actually get ahold of this kind of a drug in such a small town. turns out this guy drove over the road and had access to all kinds of drugs.

inform your daughters and make them aware. knowledge is power.

dana

[RR]

Well they got em. Now they have to go through the 100's of photos of kids they found in his truck and trailer. We are hoping and praying that none of those are of Alicia or her friend KC. I guess we will have to wait until he is brought back to Tallahassee.
Like I need more stress in my life.

http://www.tdo.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060113/NEWS01/601130350/1010

[Moniece Dickerson]

I have sat here for a while trying to figure out what I what going to say.I have decided hold back alot but I do want to say I am SO sad for all the people he and people like him have effected God help their souls and at that I better stop before I say things I should not here.Moniece

[Edurne]

Moneice,
the good thing of this publicity is that parents become more aware, children become empowered to speak up and protect themselves. For those who in the past have suffered, this current publicity of child predators, within and without of religious establishments, has opened a venue for discussion and healing. And we learn that we and ours are at risk ...... not just the person who lives a potentially dangerous life or lives in a dangerous neighbourhood.
Edurne

[Heidi]

Neighbor's younger, party-girl sister was slipped a roofie two summers ago. Some guys bought their table (3 girlfriends) drinks and she drank hers, her friends didn't.
NS (neighbor's sis) was sitting at the table a short time later and one of her friends came to sit with her and ask why she wasn't dancing, like usual...when she noticed NS drooling and staring at nothing. She went and got their other friend and they took NS to the ER. They had to carry her as she could not walk or make her limbs move properly and she couldn't/wouldn't respond verbally to them. She went into a short coma, about a day, and when she awoke she couldn't move one side of her body. It took several days, but she fully recovered...
She still goes out and is the party-girl, but she is much more careful about her drinks, now.
Heidi