10 years - it all goes by so fast!

[Mellifluous]

This just dawned on me. It has been 10 years since I first got to know Kevin. It is amazing how much can change in that amount of time and how much stays the same.

I don't think Kevin has changed nearly as much as I have. My outlook on life has really changed, my waist size has expanded. It feels like yesterday, time flies by so quickly!

So any of you have some words of wisdom for me regarding my next 10 years? I bet it will really go by fast.

I think the first thing I need to do is buy my own truck! :lol:

Here are some pics I have from 10 years ago - SCARY!

Kevin is just the same now:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/legado/wrestling.jpg

I am still wild about horses, just a bit more plump.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/legado/johnlyons.jpg

[Terry Wallace]

My words of wisdom for you is stop letting Kevin treat you as "unequal".

He needs to realize it is "ours" and not MINE..or "yours"

[Terri]

10 years? Oh, you are still a young un. Congratulations, they say the 1st 10 are the hardest. (who are "they" anyway?). I think to make it in the long haul it is important to remember that love is not an emotion, it is an act of your will. You choose to love Kevin, even when want to strangle him. It is those times of choice, where you sacrifice your feelings for the good of the person you love and the relationship, that are more important than all the good "feel good" days where loving is easy. And having a good truck for yourself helps alot too.

I hope you have many happy years to come!!!!!http://bestsmileys.com/love1/17.gif

[CarolU]

I have found marriage works well if there are 3 lives...all important, all respected, and all nurtured. They are Yours, Mine, and Ours. Everything falls into one of them and gets, money, time and investment. You respect Kevin, his likes, his time and money spent on his hobbies, he respects yours equally. He can't demand all your time, and you can't rule all his. But, you make SURE you spend time together enjoying each other too. I think that is the secret to no one feeling left out or taken for granted.

So, to that end, yes, get your own truck. We had too many problems over which direction the truck would go, fishing or horse showing. I finally said ENOUGH, and bought my own. (of course mine is BIGGER, MEANER, and SMOOTHER...and he's jealous. But, as they say "TOUGHSKI SHITSKI!!")

I love my truck. I keep it attached to my horse trailer (so it doesn't accidently go fishing! :evil: )

[Laura S]

Yes, I agree with what Carol says. And I really think it's important that you are treated as an equal partner in the marriage. I hate giving advice because I don't know the whole situation. But he is going to treat you the way you allow to be treated. So, you need to put up a fuss and stand your ground. Don't tolerate anything less than equal. If my husband new I needed the truck and he decided to be a jerk when it was time for me to take it then that would be too bad for him. It would be his problem, not mine. If I thought it would really be a problem, then the keys would have suddenly gone missing right in my pocket. It all comes down to respect. Would you let your horse be disrespectful? So get that carot stick out for Kevin and start some lesson plans with him! Poor Kevin is not going to know what hit him!

[Pam M]

I agree with the yours, mine, ours concept. If I knew what my husband REALLY spent on his hunting passion, I would come unglued and never sleep at night. Ever since I found the gun receipt that cost as much as two of my horses combined did, I have chosen to be ignorant about that aspect of his life. And I expect him to remain ignorant about my horses and their expenses. It's all about compromise but compromise doesn't have to mean unequal. It can be very satisfying - and avoid arguments - if you can both adhere to some basic "none of your business" rules.

That said, I can't give you any advice. While I've "known" my husband for over 20 years, I just really got to know him 10 years ago when we started dating so I'm in the same boat as you. Still waiting on my own truck also!

[PLEASURE PASOFINO]

I have found marriage works well if there are 3 lives...all important, all respected, and all nurtured. They are Yours, Mine, and Ours. Everything falls into one of them and gets, money, time and investment. You respect Kevin, his likes, his time and money spent on his hobbies, he respects yours equally. He can't demand all your time, and you can't rule all his. But, you make SURE you spend time together enjoying each other too. I think that is the secret to no one feeling left out or taken for granted.

So, to that end, yes, get your own truck. We had too many problems over which direction the truck would go, fishing or horse showing. I finally said ENOUGH, and bought my own. (of course mine is BIGGER, MEANER, and SMOOTHER...and he's jealous. But, as they say "TOUGHSKI SHITSKI!!")

I love my truck. I keep it attached to my horse trailer (so it doesn't accidently go fishing! :evil: )


THANKS GOD I KEEP MY WIFE AWAY FROM HERE!!!!!jejejejejejeje :twisted:

[CarolU]

ROFL Caliber....

My best friend has a much better arrangement with her husband. They spend ALL money on her and her horses. He spends all his time building her nice barns, arenas, fences. Both trucks are used driving her to shows and trail rides, and he takes care of all the work while she enjoys her horses. He doesn't even ride or own a horse.

But, I'm like Mel, I would have to get divorced and go husband shopping again to find a man like that. And I'm afraid that only man in the universe that is so nice is already spoken for. :(

[motorgypsy]

How to stay married happily for a long time???

Marry the right guy! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Draw the line in the sand that both of you know not to cross and don't cross it and don't allow him/her to cross it.

Be prepared to give 100% on both sides at times and never ask for more than you are willing to give.

Fight fair and keep to the point. No whining, crying, pleading or threats.

Previous relationships cease to exist once you have entered this one. There were no other men. There were no other women.

Don't cheat and make it clear that you expect fidelity from him/her also.

laugh a lot, be kind and don't criticize unless it's really really a big deal. If some little thing is really bothering you just ask nicely and be liberal with the rewards.

How you look IS important to your spouse but don't obsess over it. If you don't like something about yourself either accept it or change it.

Horse training techniques and lots of carrots work great on spouses also.

And you NEVER allow any type of abuse and you never abuse - either psychological or physical. Remember the line in the sand and the horse training technique for an aggressive horse - you make them THINK you''ll kill them if they ever remotely threaten and you do it fast and then it's ended.

[motorgypsy]

OOPS forgot to mention money. Money arguments are about power as most people these days know. The only way you have a balance of power if you have two very different wage earners married is to draw that line in the sand from the beginning.

Whatever works is fine but the larger wage partner does not dictate the spending. Both pretty much have to decide what is REALLY important and work together so individual and combined goals are met.

I DON'T like marriages where neither partner has any knowledge of the finances of the other. Finances need to be transparent because one spouse can end up responsible for the bad financial decisions of the other. It's just not safe to be ignorant in this area. It's too important.

For the next ten years Mel - if you really like him, think he's really "hot" and he makes you laugh - you got it made!!!

[PLEASURE PASOFINO]

MotorGypsy, you sound like someone I need to start taking notes from........... wow!!!!!!! free counciling!!!!!!


Thanks!!!!

Saludos

[motorgypsy]

;-) ;-) ;-)

A lot of a good marriage is luck!!!

[PLEASURE PASOFINO]

I dont know so much about the Luck!!!!!!! I think is what you mentioned above.......... takes mutual work!!!!!!! but most importantly RESPECT with a high dose of ATOLERATION!!!!!!

[Mellifluous]

Thanks guys.

I am ordering a carrot stick for him.
:razz:

[cowboy ed]

how long have ya'll been married? i remember the wedding photos.

you are getting some advice on the secrets to success? (1) keep him guessing (2) if he disses you about your weight, tell him to shave and cut his hair (3) let the cat out a lot ;-)

[Mellifluous]

how long have ya'll been married? i remember the wedding photos.

you are getting some advice on the secrets to success? (1) keep him guessing (2) if he disses you about your weight, tell him to shave and cut his hair (3) let the cat out a lot ;-)

We have been married for almost 2 years. We dated for 8, lived together for 7. I think we finally got married purely for insurance purposes. ;-)

Yup, roomates that had a ceremony and are now contractually bound together. That's us! :razz: