Mellifluous
03-20-2007, 04:26 PM
Dressage in the year 2030:
After changing the ruling to allow riders to go topless, to increase spectator interest, dressage is now getting more television airtime than the NFL and NBA combined.
After winning her 7th consecutive Olympics, Anky is now at the heart of controversy once again, this time for training her horses telepathically. In related news, her son will be competing in his second Olympics in 2032.
Human life expectancy now 140 years. "Old-dead-guy" (ODG) internet slang replaced with simply "old-guy", to take this into account.
Average size of the typical warmblood: 22.1 hands.
The new ruling regarding tack has determined the maximum thickness of kneeroll padding allowed is 9 inches. However, a last minute convention decision has overruled the ban on saddle seatbelts, effective immediately.
After decades of breeding for huge gaits, and with the average warmblood standing 22.1 hands, the dressage arena dimensions have again been expanded and now measures 180 meters x 90 meters, mostly to allow room for the extended trot.
Only 6 trainers remain in the entire world who are able to train a horse from start to Grand Prix themselves. In related news, the cost of a Grand Prix schoolmaster now averages 8.2 million dollars.
The FEI rulebook for dressage is now 118,346 pages long. Specific guidelines are included for judging degrees of "behind the vertical", and a new ruling now requires that every competition must have at least two judges -- one of whom is responsible only for judging the head positioning (see article 848,976.93 section C.)
The halt has been removed from all dressage tests. Piaffe, passage, and the extended trot now make up 76% of the Grand Prix.
Although competitors are now allowed to compete treeless, girthless, bitless, (and now topless), the rules continue to require stirrups. (?)
Gas now averages $11.50 a gallon, and no truck manufacturer has yet been able to produce a hybrid vehicle capable of hauling even one 22+ hand horse.
Scientists are busy trying to figure out how to ship semen via the internet. In related news, it is rumored that a mare in the U.S. has given birth to a foal -- naturally. Scientists are stumped.
The FEI is holding another emergency meeting to decide how to deal with cloning, after the fiasco at the last Olympics, where there were 3 Bonfires, 4 Gigolos, 4 Gifteds, and 2 Salineros (including "the original" Salinero, still competing in his mid 30's, thanks to advances in veterinary medicine.) In related news, the FEI is expected to rule this month on which Gigolo was really the Bronze medal winner in 2028.
After changing the ruling to allow riders to go topless, to increase spectator interest, dressage is now getting more television airtime than the NFL and NBA combined.
After winning her 7th consecutive Olympics, Anky is now at the heart of controversy once again, this time for training her horses telepathically. In related news, her son will be competing in his second Olympics in 2032.
Human life expectancy now 140 years. "Old-dead-guy" (ODG) internet slang replaced with simply "old-guy", to take this into account.
Average size of the typical warmblood: 22.1 hands.
The new ruling regarding tack has determined the maximum thickness of kneeroll padding allowed is 9 inches. However, a last minute convention decision has overruled the ban on saddle seatbelts, effective immediately.
After decades of breeding for huge gaits, and with the average warmblood standing 22.1 hands, the dressage arena dimensions have again been expanded and now measures 180 meters x 90 meters, mostly to allow room for the extended trot.
Only 6 trainers remain in the entire world who are able to train a horse from start to Grand Prix themselves. In related news, the cost of a Grand Prix schoolmaster now averages 8.2 million dollars.
The FEI rulebook for dressage is now 118,346 pages long. Specific guidelines are included for judging degrees of "behind the vertical", and a new ruling now requires that every competition must have at least two judges -- one of whom is responsible only for judging the head positioning (see article 848,976.93 section C.)
The halt has been removed from all dressage tests. Piaffe, passage, and the extended trot now make up 76% of the Grand Prix.
Although competitors are now allowed to compete treeless, girthless, bitless, (and now topless), the rules continue to require stirrups. (?)
Gas now averages $11.50 a gallon, and no truck manufacturer has yet been able to produce a hybrid vehicle capable of hauling even one 22+ hand horse.
Scientists are busy trying to figure out how to ship semen via the internet. In related news, it is rumored that a mare in the U.S. has given birth to a foal -- naturally. Scientists are stumped.
The FEI is holding another emergency meeting to decide how to deal with cloning, after the fiasco at the last Olympics, where there were 3 Bonfires, 4 Gigolos, 4 Gifteds, and 2 Salineros (including "the original" Salinero, still competing in his mid 30's, thanks to advances in veterinary medicine.) In related news, the FEI is expected to rule this month on which Gigolo was really the Bronze medal winner in 2028.